A couple of weeks ago after a long night of teaching, I walked to my car, opened the door and was hit in the face with the stench of an old crusty banana peel I had left in the cup holder before class. I am not sure why I didn’t just take it with me to dispose of like a non-idiot, but I didn’t so you can judge me however you see fit. I needed to get rid of it so I flicked it into a pile of snow where it would happily compost and one day be food for some grass that would be eaten by a chipmunk who in turn would be eaten by a college student. I crawled into my car and then looked over at the banana peel — I decided it was too close to the parking lot and that I should go out and chuck it farther into the woods. This was kind of annoying because I had to walk about three feet into the very large snow pile to get the thing, but since I was oddly concerned about it, I did it anyway. I picked it up and chucked it about 9000 feet into the air because I have superhuman banana peel throwing skills. When it finally landed, I started to walk away but then noticed a black thing sticking out of the snow where the peel had once been. I bent down for a look, and holy shit balls Batman it was an iPod Touch. I was all like, “damn” and it was all like, “I am sad… I am in a snow drift and since I am an electrical gadget… that is not good… I am probably broken.” I took it home and dried it out for about a week and then plugged it in to see what happened. It sprang to life! It said, “Thank you for rescuing me, I was so cold and nobody would pick me up.” I said “Shut up iPod, I am on the phone.” Anyway, I poked around on it a little and found an email address of who I assumed was the owner. I sent an email telling them I found their iPod and they should probably get it. After about a week of nothingness I thought that the poor little iPod had just been abandoned and nobody loved it and never would. Then, a little message from a thirteen year old boy came to my inbox “Oh thank you sooooooo much…..” He was so happy, he thought his little iPod was gone forever. Since he was too young to legally drive, he alerted his father who came to my class to retrieve it. Apparently the iPod had been gone for about a month so he had given up hope and was so excited when he got the email.
So the moral to the story is this: If you flick a banana peel into a snow hill, there will always be an iPod under it, unless you are an asshole.