Posted by: Mike Ring | February 25, 2010

something that I am terrible at — cake decorating

If I were a bigger hack or was a guest on NPR’s ‘The Splendid Table’, I would start out this blog entry with the following; There are many things in this world that I am bad at, but this one takes the cake. Hyyyyyyyyyuck hyuck get it, takes the cake?  Ugh…

So anyway, yeah I am not good with this skill.  I made this cake yesterday for my wife’s birthday and luckily she has a good sense of humor. I had envisioned something much different — a white cake with buttercream frosting adorned with shockingly accurate chocolate renderings of our pets. From the first squirt of the frosting tube/gun/bag thing, I realized I was fucked. Any normal person would have stopped after discovering such a flaw in their abilities and moved in a new direction, but no I just kept going with it, making it more unappetizing with every stroke. I think the dog on the left, Tildy, turned out the best, but it really doesn’t look anything like her. The real Tildy has a standard issue dog nose that is on the end of a muzzle, and she also doesn’t have a brown booger hanging out of one of her eyes — if she did I certainly would have edited it out. My cat doesn’t have a turd in her mouth and ropes coming out of her face, and my other dog, Griffin, doesn’t look like an unpopular Muppet that is only used when they need extras to bop around in the background during a fight scene or something. Has there ever been a fight scene in the Muppets? I think that would be fun to watch, especially if they rigged them to squirt blood like in a Monty Python skit. I bet the fake blood would ruin their fake fur though, and we don’t need to go through the rest of our lives watching stained Muppets — that just doesn’t seem appealing.

On a positive note, this cake tasted really good.



  1. Laugh out loud hilarious. Did Jess laugh out loud?

  2. This cake speaks from the heart… volumes!! I bet it tasted great too.

  3. Happy Birthday, Jess!

  4. Very cute cake!

  5. […] something that I am terrible at — cake decorating February 20104 comments […]

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