Hey guess what??? It is going to snow again and now we are totally and utterly fucked. There is no hope, the deadly snowmotherfuckinmen have got us where they want us, and tonight — in our weakened state from too much shoveling — they will enslave us and drag our sorry asses to the North Pole and force us to make toys. Yep, this is all Santa’s doing. He has finally gone mad, and he is seeking vengeance. “Why is he so pissed?” you may ask? Well, nobody ever thought of buying Santa something pretty for Christmas did they? He noticed and his feelings are hurt and he is kind of a dick, so instead of just saying something he is trying to bury us in snow to weed out the weak and will take the survivors up to his compound to punish for eternity. Oh yeah, forgot that part, he is going to make us all immortal so we can’t even wish for death. What a fucking jerk this guy is. I mean, we bake for him, we decorate all nice, we build big plastic light-up statues of him. You would think that would be enough. What the hell would we buy him anyway? He certainly doesn’t need any new lawn equipment. Oh well, I call dibs in the tiny wooden train department…you all can make dolls. I guess he forgot about Jesus.
Posted by: Mike Ring | February 9, 2010
if you thought Hellstorm 2 was bad well then… yawn… what was I talking about?
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