Just when you thought it was safe to no longer own a shovel, Hellstorm returns and this time it means business. Learning from the mistakes it made in December, it has gained new energy, most of which is coming from Texas — and if anybody knows anything about Texas, their moisture is much more pissed off than that of any other state. Forecasters are predicting anywhere from 2 to 187 inches of snow, but not just any snow — evil death snow that kills you on contact, brings you back to life, and then kills you again. Deadly evil snowmen will also make a triumphant return and break into our cars, secretly replacing our gas pedals with faulty ones made by Toyota — unless you have an affected vehicle then they will go ahead and make the repair and not tell you so when you take it to the dealership you are really just wasting your time sitting in the waiting room pretending the coffee that comes out of that free machine doesn’t taste like someone pissed in it — fuckers.
Posted by: Mike Ring | February 4, 2010
if you survived hellstorm 1 then…
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