Posted by: Mike Ring | January 15, 2010

stream of consciousness story 1

This might be a new thing I start doing on occasion, but if it doesn’t end well I probably will not do it again. I am going to write a story as a stream of consciousness letting it just unfold as I type, with no pausing. It might be terrible, I am not going to go back and edit it (well maybe spell check, but not sure why I even bother with that sometimes).

Here it goes…

One day little Billy came home from Karate practice and noticed his friend Jeff sitting on his front lawn. “Hey Jeff” Billy said, “what the fuck are you doing on my lawn, and why do you have a spike sticking out of your head?” Jeff looks woozy and replies “I got into a fight with a punk kid and he head butted me, part of his mohawk got stuck in my face and I can’t get it out.” “Well shit Jeff” Billy replies “do you want me to take you to the hospital?” Jeff considers and then says “No, I think I will just wait and see if it goes away on it’s own, I don’t like doctors after I found them rummaging through are garbage last week looking for used socks.” Billy gets a little closer to Jeff and notices small bits of brain on his shirtsleeve.” I am not so sure that is a good idea Jeff, these things have a way of progressing into worse things. My friend’s cousin got sick a few years ago and didn’t bother going to the doctor and now she has a documentary about her called ‘200 pound tumor’ that airs about every other week.” “Holy Shit” cries Jeff, did she make it?” Billy sinks his head, “No, she died a few months back after getting in the middle of a bum fight.” Jeff rolls around, grabs his head and starts to panic. “OH MY GOD, what the fuck happened, what is this thing in my head?” Billy looks concerned, “I think you have lost part of your brain there Jeff, and you are starting to lose it.” Jeff becomes pale and starts to hyperventilate, “Then fucking help you asshole!” Billy becomes annoyed with Jeff and turns away from him and walks into his house. Jeff moans and moans and can be heard all night complaining. Billy rolls around in his bed not being able to sleep with the noise outside his window. “SHUT THE FUCK UP JEFF!” Finally Jeff stops and Billy falls fast asleep. The next morning Billy goes outside to see if Jeff will be more gracious with his offer to help and sees that he is no longer moving. Billy bends down and starts to feel bad about not helping him earlier. The remorse grows, and the fact that he might be in trouble enters his mind. He goes around back of the house to get a shovel, but when he returns Jeff is gone. “Where the hell did you go Dead Jeff?” A few minutes pass and Billy grows more concerned. Just then, a figure comes walking down the sidewalk and soon Billy realizes that it is Jeff. “JEFF!” Billy screams, “You are alive!” Jeff walks up uncomfortably close to Billy and glares into his eyes. “Yep, I am alive. I was testing our friendship, and you failed miserably, you stupid piece of shit. Don’t expect to get any presents from Santa this year because I just killed him to get back at you.” Billy smiles and says, “I’m Jewish you dumbass!”

The End.

Wow that was dark, guess I need to eat lunch or something. I am not sure if I will try that again… let me know what you think.


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