Posted by: Mike Ring | January 12, 2010

a great place to have fun — or not

In our town center we have a nice little lakefront with a boardwalk, restaurants, benches, large open fields to relax in and so on — you know, a park. The only negative is you are not allowed to do anything there. Lets go though these rules one by one.

1.    This is a lakefront… what the fuck?

2.    What does this even mean, what constitutes the possibility of interfering with others? I guess don’t talk, look at anybody or come here, and you will be fine.

3.    Sit down and shut up or the Columbia Association is going to throw away all of your toys.

4.    Don’t touch anything, especially if it looks fun.

5.    You can only drink if we profit from it.

6.    You cannot do anything entertaining unless we profit from it.

7.    We hate wheels and people who use them

8.    People passing shit out pisses me off, so this rule is okay.

9.    Have fun at the park while your dog stays at home sitting next to his ball crying.

10.  Guns don’t kill people. People shooting at you with guns kill people.

11.   Well, I guess.



  1. Oh boy, this place looks like fun fun fun!!!

  2. Can’t wait to visit!

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