Posted by: Mike Ring | December 16, 2009

Is it just me, or does ‘Avatar’ look terrible and they are trying too hard to make it not look terrible

Hollywood gave a shit load of money to James Cameron to make a movie about Cowboys and Indians on a planet where the universal laws of physics seem not to apply — and a poor legless Marine who they won’t give new legs to until he goes and fucks up some blue Indians’ shit and steals some expensive rocks. Something about this movie seems far-fetched, but I just can’t put my finger on it. I have no idea really, this film could be the next ‘Star Wars’ and you just can’t get wrapped into the story with what is offered in the trailer, but I kind of doubt it. They promise that after ‘Avatar’, “Movies will never be the same.” I have no idea what that means. Do they mean nobody is ever going to risk a high budget film after this causes many people to loose their shirts, jobs and parking spaces? Does it mean that nobody will go see movies anymore because they ripped their eyes out after seeing ‘Avatar’? Does it mean that all movies will now take place on other planets where we try to kill ugly blue things? And they are REALLY ugly. This is probably the worst character creation since Jar Jar Binks — the Na’vi are the most unattractive and awkward looking creatures you have ever seen. They are an odd human-cat-elf-boo berry mash up that leave you wanting to not look at them, and also not care if they live or not, which I suppose would lead you to not give a shit about this movie. All and all I give it five stars, two thumbs up and a big hooray. And for my fellow designer friends, they used Papyrus as the base for the title treatment, enough said. I guess I should actually watch the movie now hoping I am wrong about all of this, but the title treatment still blows.

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Responses

  1. I just thought “boy’s movie” and went on with my life. Now I know it’s NOBODY’S movie – resuming going on with my life.
    Thanks nojobmike/Mr. Movie guy.

  2. cory or andrew made a waterworld reference to this movie.

    • after all the slick trailers i’ve seen for this steaming pile of crap, it makes me wonder if it’s actually just an Alien–Emo remake of Dune.

      • The water world reference is dead on. Alien-Emo dune, HA

  3. Jon Stewart said that when he heard about the movie he assumed it would be a waaaaaaaaay over budget load of crap. He was interviewing one of the stars of the movie at the time!

  4. This is the movie equivalent of the dumbest craft project ever shown on HGTV: buying hundreds of dollars worth of special glitter (made from antique glass) and spending untold hours covering a fake cactus with it until you go blind either from the lights reflecting off your masterpiece or from the tiny bits of glitter flying through the air.

    • I think that is the best metaphor ever made!


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