Posted by: Mike Ring | November 17, 2009

we all keep photos of really stupid things

I was looking through iPhoto trying to get inspiration for today’s blog and I came across this picture and many others like it. This is something I sold on eBay a few years ago and it made me think about a couple of things. 1. Why do we get duped into buying such stupid shit? 2. Why do we keep photos like this when we have delete buttons? First off I hate Conair for making this and selling it to people. It seemed like such a nice idea when we got it — “Turn your regular, boring, lame ass bathtub into a luxury whirlpool!!!!!” — well, not with this piece of shit. A standard bathtub is only so deep and with this green hunk of stupid on the bottom, it makes it three inches shallower so you stick out of the water and you feel like you are on a cremation table. Second, it has suction cups that are supposed to stick to the bottom of the tub so it doesn’t float up. Well, most modern bathtubs are textured on the bottom, and most older bathtubs are concave so getting this asshole to stick is pretty much impossible. When you get in the tub you have to muscle it to the bottom and lay perfectly still. The “massaging foot plates” are completely worthless because they are only about 4” long and snap off if you push down on them. Also, the matt bubbles so vigorously that it spews water in your face and all over your bathroom. Finally, the fucking thing is so loud that it sounds like you are bathing with an airplane. When you are all done using the bubble matt, you are more pissed off and tense than when you started. I think the decision to sell it on eBay was a good one, but I kind of feel bad for the person who bought it from us.

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Responses

  1. It is CON air, after all.

    • VERY VERY true!!!

  2. ha, i had absolutely no idea whatsoever what the heck that thing was in the photo….looks dangerously potent to have in the tub with you. i made a pact with myself to NEVER EVER buy something that looks like you can’t live without it when you see the commercial with the guy yelling at you to buy it….BUT WAIT!! this policy has held up even through the new guy with the headset on telling you that the space age towel soaks up everything in sight. BUT WAIT!!

    • Yes, this thing taught me that lesson for sure!

  3. Mike, I saw a demo of the towel – it falls apart in a hot second.
    And other Mike AKA my wonderful nephew, we all make mistakes.
    A real whirlpool tub is so wonderful that who can blame you for trying.
    I’m trying to get your Mom to install one in “our” bathroom.


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