Halloween was fun. We went to Fells Point in Baltimore to check out some crazy. We started off with a ghost tour. The scariest part of it was the tour was the guide’s inability to tell a coherent story. At first we though she was drunk, but later figured out she was just incredibly terrible. She kept building up to what she called “The worst joke in the world”, and by the time she finally told it I had tuned her out and missed it so had to ask what it was later. She asked for tips at the end by telling yet another clever joke which was answered with a lot of people walking away. I gave her a pity tip, but I shouldn’t have just for her continuous misuse of the word penultimate.
After the tour we went to a bar, it was called BAR. No, it did not have any other name, and they only took cash. At 10:00 on Halloween night, the arrival of our group of nine increased the patronage of this BAR by 295%. It was the best place ever. BAR was next to one of the most haunted houses in Fells Point according to our terrible tour guide and the scary thing is shortly after our arrival an ambulance and many unmarked police cars rushed to that house. So I guess that is kind of scary. I think one of the ghosts killed themselves.
Based on the Halloween costumes I saw this weekend I have come to the conclusion that most people are scared of the following things: Nurses; doctors; prostitutes; green men; the Mario Brothers; Christmas; beer kegs; very very short skirts; drunk people; cops; a gray box with a horn on it; drag queens; Bert and Ernie; Forest Gump and Lieutenant Dan; something I didn’t quite get; Robin with his ass hanging out; Where the Wild Things Are; Army men; Rainbow Bright; Waldo; Jesus; and Chex Mix.