Posted by: Mike Ring | October 30, 2009

will someone please glue this guy’s beard back on?

DSCN1081_1When I saw this poor guy it made me embarrassed for America. We are so busy texting that we forgot to glue this poor guys beard back on. Billion and Billions of people look at this exhibit every day and not one of them had a glue stick? You may be calling me a hypocrite right now thinking, “Well why the fuck didn’t you glue it back on.” Well I would have but I just used up all my crafting supplies on the first monkey to see orbit. That poor monkey — he looked scared to death. How did they get him to agree to do that? “Hey monkey come here, if you put this space helmet on I will give you a Banana. Okay, NOW if you let me strap you into this little chair I will give you a banana. Good monkey! Okay now if you let me blast you out of the earths atmosphere at 80,000 mph with a rocket we built with some old roofing supplies and some chicken wire we will give you a banana.” And before he could say, “NO WAY MOTHER FUCKERS!” BOOOOOOOOOM he was flying around the earth shitting all over the inside of that of his little space suit. Once they finally got him back down to earth he was so mad that he started biting people and then they made a movie about him called “Outbreak.” It may seem like I was not staying on topic today, but the picture I took of the monkey didn’t come out so I started it off with some stupid story about a caveman beard. I really don’t give a shit about that caveman or his beard.

Look, it is all blurry.




  1. i’d gladly glue his beard back on but all i have is monkey glue, i ordered some beard glue from glues ‘r us but they backordered it for me……

  2. We’re supposed to vote on this? Why, all fives all the time of course!

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