Posted by: Mike Ring | October 26, 2009

a halloween nightmare

Last year at about this time I pulled out of my driveway and started heading to that job that I don’t have anymore. After driving about ten feet, time came screeching to a halt and the earth stood silent as an orange sphere comes hurling down a long hill directly towards me. A crow cawed in the distance. An old woman leaned on a streetlamp smoking a cigarette as a dog kicked his legs to cover his poo. A church bell doesn’t ring in the distance because it was Monday and the earth was standing silent like I said so you wouldn’t have heard it anyway, but you could hear the crow because it was breaking the laws of earth-standing-silent physics and I go way to far into atmospheric description and snap back to the point. Behind the bouncing sphere appears a woman running with her arms flailing above her head “STOP STOP STOP!” Further down I see a young boy jumping and screaming “MOOOOOOOM STOP MY PUUUUUMPKIN!” Then, as with as quickly as it started, it was over — SPLAT! The pumpkin mashed into a million bits as it pummeled the old smoking lady, well actually it hit a street light but it would have been much funnier if it would have hit an old smoking lady, but didn’t really hurt her because she was really strong — like she could bench press a cow.

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