Posted by: Mike Ring | October 12, 2009

Exxon Mobil is an evil company

This may come as a shock to most of you, but Exxon Mobil is not the friendly, caring company it claims to be. Today I fell victim this oil giant’s greedy and malicious business practices. What started out as a normal visit to my local gas station quickly went bad. A friendly man dressed up in a Tiger costume holding a sign promoting a $19.99 oil change greets patrons as they drive in. He smiles and waves at me, and I ignore him as usual because big fluffy costumed people holding oil change discount signs kind of creep me out. I fill up my car and then head over to the air pump to fill up my tires. I grab a couple of quarters, head up to the machine, drop in 50 cents and then in happened — one dollar for air — are you fucking kidding me? What kind of horrible, baby eating people can justify this exorbitant about of money for 2 minutes of pressurized air? Pissed off and out 50 cents I go back to my car and grab my last two quarters then reluctantly drop them into the raping machine to fill my tires. When I am done, there is still time left on the clock so I start dusting off the outside of my car and try to blast bugs out of the air as the pass by. When the air shuts off, I don’t do a nice job of putting the hose back on the rack. Yeah, take that mother fuckers.



  1. Dude I had to pay $.50 for air to fill my bike tires, talk about feeling like a jackass.

  2. Mike, I love you and would give you part of my liver and lung and a whole kidney. But you JUST NOW discovered oil companies were evil. Oh sweetie.
    Your Aunt Libby

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