Posted by: Mike Ring | September 21, 2009

so I have this stupid lamp

DSCN1042When we moved into our current house (almost exactly one year ago) I put this lamp in the corner of the bedroom. At first it made sense because we needed some light, but since then we have installed a ceiling fan/light combo that puts out a very nice light, much nicer than that asshole lamp ever could. So now it just sits and waits for me to do something with it. The idea at first was to use it in addition to the ceiling light—but yeah right, like I am really going to turn on two lights just to have to turn them both off again before going to sleep, fuck that—and as you can see from this photo, if I did turn it on, more than likely nothing would happen. DSCN1043So by now I bet the lamp thinks I am a real jerk, and it would be correct, as I have truly been a bad lamp owner. All it wants to do is spilling it’s little light around the room so people don’t run into things—it just wants to be helpful, but no, I have it shoved in a corner, often times buried in laundry. It whispers to me at night, “Mike, ooohh Miiiike, when you finally do turn me on, I am going to explode in your eyes so you can never see light again, blaahahahaha.” Sorry lamp, I don’t take kindly to your threats—but just in case, I should probably take it out for a nice dinner.



  1. Actually that looks like a very nice lamp. You lie.

  2. Just a thought – might it work better if you plugged it in?

  3. I want the lamp. My room is dark and my ceiling light is seriously an uglyl piece of crap. It is a circular neon light, half hanging off the ceiling, with no cover to make it pretty. If I get your lamp I can wallpaper over that piece of crap neon thing. And I can spackle over the light switch on the wall.

    • hmm, i think I will consider giving it to you, but I don’t know. I don’t have a job so maybe I will need it to light my cardboard box.

  4. is this lamp for sale?

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