Posted by: Mike Ring | September 16, 2009

dog pool party part 2

After the 4th pooping offense, people started getting used to it and moved on to other things. That is the great thing about dog people, they are rugged and not even poop will phase them.

Speaking of  dog people, you would suspect that a dog pool party would be filled with them, and they would know something about dog behavior. For the most part it was, except for this one stupid asshole shit faced bastard who seemed to mainly be there because his girlfriend was a lifeguard. My wife Jess had the first encounter. I was off picking up some poop from the sidewalk and when I came back her eyes had flames shooting out of them. She told me this stupid asshole shit faced bastard had been kicking and shoving our dog Griffin for jumping up on his dog. Yeah maybe a little bit of humping went on, but any idiot knows the difference between play initiation and aggression. I asked who it was, and she told me to take a guess. I look around at the crowd and there he was, amongst the people actually dressed for dog pool party stood a 1999 Abercrombie and Fitch store mannequin complete with designer sunglasses neatly placed on his meticulously perfect highlighted hair. After vomiting, we waited for him and his dog, which of course was so manly that it needed to be contained with a heavy barbed choker color. They come over and Griffin jumps up, and quickly backs off when we tell him to get off, but the guy gets all pissy and shoves him down anyway. He says, “You gotta get your dog away from us.” I say, “This is just how he initiates play, dogs just do this, it isn’t a problem.” he says, “well, it is going to be a problem if he does it again—I wouldn’t let some jerk do that to me.” He kicks at Griffin again. Jess and I grab the guy and stomp his head into the pavement and Griffin lifts his leg and pees in this face. We quickly snapping out of this daydream and I politely call him a douchebag then go somewhere else before we really do beat him senseless. He had no reply to my remark since that was his actual name, and he went off to do some flexing on the other side of the pool.

Except for the one douchebag it was a really great event. Griffin had a blast and immediately fell asleep when he got home. We will be back next year.



  1. Over-groomed and over-macho often equals a sad sack with nothing going for him. Of course not a bit of REAL manliness and who in the heck dressed like that for a fun dog pool party. He must have been doing that for 10 years in the same clothes. Maybe he works for Kanye.

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