So I went to the mall this morning at 10 a.m. The parking lot was mostly empty but every handicapped space was full. This wasn’t all that surprising until I noticed the lack of handicapped and elderly inside the mall. This is a mystery I will solve later.
The reason I went to the mall was to get a watch battery replaced. I started first with Macy’s. They have a jewelry counter and sell watches, so it seemed like a good bet. At the counter I find two sharply dressed Macy’s district managers. They didn’t have big signs on them indicating as such, but it was easy to assume because they had three employees glued to their asses and had no idea if they sold watch batteries. They found someone who could help me — her name was Tina. I bet on a normal day Tina would not have been so helpful, but with the bosses there she was a gleaming beacon of information. She regretted deeply that they no longer sold watch batteries but was delighted to tell me where else I could find them in the mall. After a dramatic and overly detailed explanation of where to find this shop, she said be sure to tell them “Tina from Macy’s sent me” and assured me there would be an instant 20% discount. I was disappointed when she didn’t offer to give me a piggyback ride to the watch shop. The district managers seemed pleased with Tina’s performance so she won’t be getting laid-off anytime soon. When I arrived at the watch repair shop, I proclaimed “TINA FROM MACY’S SENT ME” and expected to be whisked into the VIP room. I just got a blank stare, and no discount. F’ you Tina.